Cheering up

My past couple posts have been a bit down and depressed, I guess that's what happens when things get stressful. That being said, I've decided to not whine about anything today and share a few funny stories with you....and make it a positive blog post.

I have a few friends who are pregnant, and talking to them about they're pregnancies has had me thinking alot about my own pregnancies. Let me go into a bit of history before I tell you my stories that I hope will leave you giggling like they do me looking back today.

Tom and I were married November 2, 2002 when I was just 20 years old in my parents living room. I grew up in the same house my mother did and it's sort of an unspoken tradition in my family, all the members of my family on my mothers side were married there. So I didn't have a big wedding, but it was perfect for me, my closest friends and family there to witness my vows to my soul mate (yes after all this time and all the crap I still beleive he's my soul mate lol).

Anyway, anyone who knows me knows that the one thing I've always wanted was to be a mother. Growing up I said I wanted 3 kids. So Tom and I immediatly started trying to get pregnant (may not have been our smartest move but oh well it happens). After a few months of trying and nothing, I decided to go to a dr. Long story short I was diagnosed with PCOS (Ploycystic Ovarian Syndrome). The dr's said I'd never be able to conceive a child naturally and when we were ready he'd start me on a fertility drug.

After talking about it and arguing about it with my entire family, Tom and I decided to wait a few years before trying to have children. The next day I call my dr and he tells me he'd start me on birth control but to take a test just to be sure. Long story short SUPRISE! I find out I'm pregnant with Lana. This was a week after being told I couldn't conceive naturally and according to blood tests and stuff I was 6 weeks pregnant. So Tom and I joke that the whole time I was being told this, Lana's in my belly saying "haha dumbass I proved you wrong!" Impossible I know, but still a funny thought.

Towards the end of my pregnancy, probably around the last month or so, an ultra-sound proved that Lana was footling breech (feet first). Stuborn baby she was, she refused to turn around so a C-Section was nessessary. I spent that month preparing Tom for this, researching, showing him videos of what was going to happen, I was determined he was going to be in that O.R. with me, and he wanted to be there to see his daughter born. He wanted children as much as I did. My surgery was scheduled for November 4th, my due date was November 5th. On November 3rd (the day after our first wedding anniversary), I was due for my last checkup before the operation. I tell Tom and my mother that I had been having strange cramps all night, comming every 20 minutes or so. My mother tells me to make sure I tell the dr this when I'm in my checkup so I do. She examines me and discovers I'm in labor and 2cm dialated. So she leaves the room, comes back and says "ok we're going to send you to the hospital and take the baby now." Tom actually looks at this dr and says "You can't take her now...I haven't finished painting the room yet!" LMAO! The dr with a completly straight face looks at Tom and says "I'm sorry Mr. Powell, but if we send her home, she'll be back tonight in active labor, and we want to avoid that"

So, we load in the car and start the 10 minute drive to the hospital. My mother decides to go 5 minutes out of the way to get gas first lol. We FINALLY get to the hospital and are walking to the entrance. Tom then sits down and turns white as a ghost. I stop and ask him what's wrong. He looks up at me scared to death and says "I don't think I can do this." Now I knew what he meant, but Tom and I are both smartasses so I look at him and said "well you should've thought of that 9 months ago honey" LOL! So my mother comes in the room with me and gets to see her granddaughter being born. Now at the risk of getting mushy, what an AMAZING moment for my mother and I. I would've loved to have Tom there but it was such a bonding moment for Mom and I to have her next to me watching me become a mother in the same hospital she gave birth to both her kids in. I hope that someday, I can share the same moment with my daughter.

After she's born and cleaned up, we are back in my hospital room. Tom is holding the baby while the nurses asses me and stuff. I'll never forget the look on his face. Pride, love, and fear all at once. He smiles and looks at our new daughter, our little miracle and says "you know, you really screwed up daddy's day...but your still beautiful baby girl." And no lie, my daughter, minutes old, opens her eyes, looks up at her father and sticks her tongue out! LMFAO! We knew right then and there what we were in for.

Later that night, after all the family and friends had gone home, it was just me, Tom and baby. Of course having a c-section I was completly numb from the waist down and couldn't get out of bed. Lana needed a diaper change and Tom was determined he wanted to do it. Keep in mind he's NEVER changed a diaper before in his life before this day. So he puts the baby in the bassinet and takes her diaper off. Getting graphic for a moment it was her first dirty diaper. You mothers out there know what I mean by that. Tom starts to look scared to death and immediatly starts calling for the nurse convinced there's something wrong with our child. I'm laughing too hard at this point to stop him (which after a c-section is quite painful lol). The nurse comes in and Tom shows her the diaper and says "what the hell is that? get the dr my daughter is sick" The nurse tries her best not to laugh but can't supress a smile and says "no Mr. Powell that's completly normal." He looks at her and says "that is NOT normal, mine doesn't look like that!" The nurse looks at him with a completly straight face and says "your not 4 hours old either are you?" She then takes over the diaper change showing Tom how to do it.

I suppose that's it for now, tomorrow, I'll tell you Connor's story......now don't be too upset, I have to keep you comming back right?

Hugs and Kisses to all,
Louise

House Hunting

Ok so I mentioned yesterday that my family and I have to move. I thought we found...no we did find a place that I fell in love with. It's absolutly gorgeous. 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom townhouse close to Lana's school. When I first saw the floor plan for this place I was instantly in love. I pictured myself in that house, cleaning it and cooking dinner for my family. Pictured the kids sitting at the breakfast bar in the morning eating they're cereal before school. Pictured having weekend BBQ's outside on the patio with what few friends we have in this god forsaken town.

So, we applied for a loan for the moving costs, got approved for half of what we applied for. Which would still cover most of the moving costs. Tom had staff duty all night last night which meant he had to stay on post all night to answer phones and stuff. Anyway, he then texts me telling me he sent me an email full of house listings he liked. I said that I thought we had agreed on a place and he resonds with "well I don't wanna pay that much I want to find something cheaper." Which I suppose makes sense, just kinda burst my bubble ya know? I saw this new house as a new beginning, a way to start over and get away from all the bullshit that's gone on for the last year. Which I suppose you can do anywhere, I just REALLY loved this house.

But of course, if Tom and his father don't like it, then we don't get it. I really feel like I don't have a say in anything, that it's all about Tom and his dad and I'm just along for the ride to clean the house and take care of the kids. And I really have no valid reason to feel that way about his father. Since he's been living here he really hasn't done anything out of line. I don't know, maybe it's residual resentment from North Carolina. And Tom doesn't do anything to try to convince me otherwise. I point out something I like and he says "no it's got this or that wrong...keep looking", but when he finds a place he likes I'm supposed to jump and call the people to set up a viewing. So, I guess I'll just do what I always do. Clean the house, take care of the kids and go wherever my husband wants to live. That's what a good wife does right? Sit back, keep her mouth shut and go with the flow?

Ok so I've been gone

This month has been absolutly insane for me. An emotional rollercoaster. On March 12, 2010, at 5:58pm, after 4 days in ICU, we lost my beloved mother in law. That damn near killed me. We were so close, she was like a second mother to me. She had this personality that made it impossible not to adore her. She could always find a joke or a way to smile and make others around her smile. She never had much, but was willing to give whatever she had if it meant helping others. The world was a much better place with her in it, she taught me that there are still good people in the world. I miss her dearly and always will.

After we got back from the funeral, I discovered my gallbladder had to come out. So I had that surgery this past Thursday, I'm still a bit sore but much better than i was on Thursday lol. I'm just going nuts because I'm still too sore to do my normal housework. And boy does it show! Don't get me wrong, Tom was a HUGE help, but I don't think he ever learned how to use a vacuum cleaner or carpet shampooer the right way. Hopefully in a couple more days I'll be able to clean like I used to, then my house will be normal again.

On top of that, we still have all this military housing department crap going on. We now have to move. It's not too bad, we had planned on moving anyway but not right away. Now we don't have a choice. We did find a really great place and are waiting to hear about a loan we applied for to help with the move. According to my friend, this place we went through approves everyone so we'll see. I really love this place. It's a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom with a patio in the back. Pets are allowed with no extra fee. The community center has a pool and hot tub. And best of all....IT'S NOT MILITARY RUN!!!!!!! Moving into military housing was the worst idea I've ever had. There's so many rules that they don't tell you about until you break them. We're not even allowed to change our oil in the diveway (yes we got written up for that). My neighbors are nosey and judgmental, when we were home for Ma's funeral, one of our neighbors actually cut our dog loose because they didn't like her barking. WTF? She's a dog who's family has never left her for more than a couple hours before and we were gone for a week!

I'm hoping this new house will be like a new start, a new beginning. Things aren't exactly great with Tom and I. I still love him to death, don't get me wrong. But sometimes I feel like he's only with me because we have kids together. He hardly ever sleeps in bed with me anymore, most nights he ends up on the couch claiming he fell asleep watching TV. It's almost like we're going through the motions of a married couple without the romance and intimacy. Now I know after time some of the romance fades, but really I can't remember the last time when we did share a bed he cuddled with me, he's starting to give me a complex. When I talk to him about it he says "well I'm just not a cuddly touchy feely person." But I think there's something more and he won't talk to me about it. I'm not ready to give up and leave, I probably never will leave, but don't I deserve more? I know I screwed up when he was deployed, and it almost cost us our kids, but I've gotten so much better since. When is he going to stop punishing me? When will I get the man I married back? That's all for now, enjoy your week until we talk again

Louise

Hello World

Yep I did it, I joined the world of bloggers hehehe. There may be days I post and may be days I dont. There are just somedays I need to vent and noone's around to listen. Or days when something fun or exciting happens that i want to share. Let's start with today. This is a venting day. I have 2 children, Lana is age 6 and in Kindergarten. Connor is age 4 and in pre-school, So you can imagine my weeks are pretty busy. This is a typical day for me: My husband, Tom is a Specialist in the United States Army so he's up and out of the house by 6am, which is usually the time I get out of bed during the week. I'll get up around 6am, I'll have a half hour of peace and quiet before thekids get up around 6:30 or so. I'll get them breakfast, usually cereal as at 6:30am i'm not awake enough for anything else lol. I'll let them watch cartoons for a while then ab out 6:45 I'll get my son dressed for school. His bus comes at about 7:30 which gives me a half hour to get my daughter dressed, which is usally quite a battle as she hates having her hair brushed lol. Lana's bus comes at about 8:20 or so. By then Tom's home for morning break. I'll have some more coffee then spend the rest of my day cleanin after 2 men (my father in law lives with us) 2 kids, and 6 animals (i have some kittens i'm tryin to get rid of). I leave to pick up my son at 2:30pm, my daughter gets home at 4:30pm, hubby shortly after so we do dinner, bath, bed etc. Pretty busy week right? So this morning i think "oh yes it's saturday i can sleep in for a little while. " WRONG, my kids got up at 6 and Tom decided it was my turn to get up as "he works hard all week and i dont leave the house for work" um....what? I work just as hard as him, I just dont leave the house or get paid for it. So now, even though it's saturday i still have a ton of housework to do while he gets to sit and relax all day.....does this sound fair? Men just dont understand....a housewifes work is NEVER done. We don't get weekends off or sick days. We stillhave to get up and make sure the house is in order. Trust me I've tried taking days off......it is a nightmare everytime I do. A few weeks ago, I decided to take a weekend off and go to Pennsylvania to visit one of my best friends. All I asked was that Tom didnt let the house get destroyed while i was gone. I came home and it took me 3 days to get my house back in order! So my question is.........when is it my turn to have one day when there's absolutly NOTHING that has to be done? And the answer? When my children are in college! I dont know how many of you are going to read this......I'm mainly doing this for myself as a way to vent so i dont lose my mind. But all are welcome to read and comment! More to come later........maybe later today maybe tomorrow, you'll NEVER know :P Have a great weekend!

Signed,
Frustrated Housewife