Day 3

Tom's been gone for field training since Monday. Even though it's only until Tuesday, I miss him like crazy! So do the kids. I'm having bedtime issues with them again, Connor's acting out real bad. They got mad at me cuz "Daddy went camping without them!" LOL I told them he didn't want to go camping either.

So far I've been ok, not staying up all night like I did when he was gone, making sure the kids get up for school. Been slacking on the cleaning a little, but I've had a killer toothache the past couple days. It's feeling much better today so I'm gonna do a overhaul on the house today once my phone is charged lol.

Nights are a little harder. Sue asked me the day Tom left if I was ok, I told her "bah a week and a half is a cake walk...I can handle it!" And for the most part, I can. I can cook, and clean and care for the kids the way I'm supposed to. I can make sure I go to bed at a decent hour, all stuff I had to litterally force myself to do while he was deployed. But, at night, when I'm in bed and it's just me and the dogs, I have the hardest time falling asleep.

I keep telling myself this is insane. He hasn't been gone that long and he'll be back next week. So why am I missing him so much? It's not like we've never been seperated before. He was in Iraq for close to a year for crying out loud! For all intents and purposes, this should be a cake walk. One advantage I have is I'm not about to shut down like I did last time. I know I can do the stuff I need to do to take care of my kids, and my house. It's just the lonliness I'm having a hard time with now.

I don't know really what I'm saying lol, just rambling really. It makes me think of when he leaves for Georgia. He's going to be gone for 4 months. Now the plan is for me to be in North Carolina with my parents for a month and a half of that. But that's not going to help with the lonliness. Tom and I have come so far these past few months. We're finally in a good place. So, in a way, this intense lonliness I'm feeling with him being gone is a releif. It proves to me that I do still love him. Proves that all of our problems in the past, don't matter now. I want him here, in my bed. I miss that I can't roll over at night and put my arm around him. Crazy I know but I feel like a newlywed again lol.

Short post I know, but I got a ton of crap I need to do today. I'll write more soon!