Random Thoughts

I took my kids to the park yesterday. It was a gorgeous day, the sun was shining so I figured, living here you never know when it's going to be rainy and cold so I might as well enjoy the sunshine while I can. Once we got over there a whole bunch of kids there and a couple of the wives. Normally I'd bury myself in my book or make a call so I'd have an excuse to ignore them, I still have alot of trust issues after last time. But yesterday, I was in the mood for some adult interaction.

I got talkin to one of the wives and next thing I know over 2 hours had gone by. We talked about EVERYTHING. Mainly the challenges of being an army wife, shared different deployment stories, what our plans were for after the military. We even discovered that we have the same cleaning habits LOL! We also discovered she only lives right behind me so of course when leaving the park we went through the whole "we should get together sometime". And for the first time since all this DSS crap started, I actually meant it.

It's nice when you meet people in the same situation as you, and everyone says army wives have to stick together. During our conversation we met a woman with 3 kids, just moved into the housing complex and going through her first deployment. I really felt for her. While she was laughing and joking right along with us, I could still see a sadness in her eyes, and I remember all too well what she's feeling. The lonliness, overwhelmed, trying to be strong for her kids only to feel completly lost at night. I meant to give her my number yesterday but forgot, I'll have to remember to do that next time I see her. Everyone needs someone to lean on during these times. And I'm determined to be there for someone the way I needed someone to be there for me, only they weren't.

Unless you're in the military, you really can't fathom what we go through. You can sit here and read my blogs and get an idea of what it's like. But unless it happens to you there's no way to grasp the full impact of it. You truly are a single mom, only difference is you're married. But when our soldier is gone, everything is laid on us. The bills, the housework, the cooking, car maintnence minor repairs around the house, everything. It doesn't sound like much more than a normal housewife goes through but it gets lonely. Especially when stuff gets messed up and you feel like you have noone else to turn to because your spouse, your best friend, your partner, is off in another country risking his/her life every single day.

As far as Kuwait goes, the officer's are trying to fight it and make it so Tom comes back here. That'll be so much better. I can handle a week and a half or even 4 months, but another year might prove to be too much. We've started looking at places back home, but can't find anything within our price range that fits our needs. I'm excited to move but scared at the same time. Change is a very scary thing, and i know everyone goes through it and it's a part of life and all that, but I worry if we're still going to be able to support the kids.

I guess that's it for today, I'm thinking of going to have my coffee on the back porch and enjoy the sunshine before I start cleaning. If the weather is nice where you are, get out and do the same thing!